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By John Liming
My friend, Eddie, and I had been talking about guns – - of course! Who doesn’t talk about guns these days?
Eddie is a staunch really right wing Republican who is almost as set in his ways as I am in mine, but somehow, despite our political differences and our often heated disagreements on issues, we manage to keep up a welcome cordiality.
How I wish sometimes that members of congress could remember the days – - a long time ago – - – when they could disagree with each other – - sometimes venomously – yet still sit down over a table and hammer out agreements that worked out to be good for both sides… even if everybody didn’t get all they had hoped for. Back then the attitude was, “Oh well . . there’s always the next time.”
As Ed was putting the mustard and catsup on his hamburger, he mentioned, ” I was reading that little bumpkin newspaper from down in the sticks this morning and you know what the editor wrote in his column?”
I couldn’t begin to imagine so I pushed it a little, “No, Eddie – what did he write?”
Ed flashed a toothy grin betraying a mouth filled with perfect, shiny and blindingly white teeth and replied, ” He said that all you Liberals should remember who it is that has all the guns in The United States.”
I thought silently, “Well that’s kind of a dumb-assed thing to say! “
“Do you suppose the Bubba meant that as some kind of threat or something?” I asked adjusting my weight on the booth seat where we were eating.
At that moment, this swarthy-looking overweight guy leaned over the booth in front of us and said, “I couldn’t help but hear what you were talking about and I got something to put in if it’s alright with you all.”
I heard that distinctive “You All” drawl so Eddie and I agreed to listen and we focused all our attention on the – - new guy in the conversation.
“You gotta remember,” he began looking all self-confident and knowledgeable and everything – - “You gotta remember that the reason the American Revolution started in the first place was because the King had sent some Red Coats to Concord to confiscate all the guns from the settlers who were living there. But them settlers weren’t having any of it so they lit up some Red Coat ass and that is how The Revolution got started.”
The guy finished his little speech and looked all self-satisfied as he awaited a reaction from either Ed or myself.
Being careful and trying not to sound too offensive or argumentative, I said to the guy, “I thought it was all about the King trying to hold the settlers in the colonies up for more money on tea taxes.”
“Nah!” the other guy said, “It was the guns! It’s always the guns when the Gubmint gets ready to grab the guns and put everybody under some kind of socialist tyranny or something – - just like Obummer is trying to do to us these days.”
I glanced at Eddie who seemed enraptured with this line of BS and then I blurted out, “Hey! I haven’t seen any evidence of the president or the administration trying to grab anyone’s guns and this president has been in office for more than four years now and I am just as free as I was the day he first took office so what is all this “Tyranny” crap about? If the government was going to make any tyrannical moves, surely they would have done something by this time – - they’ve had long enough to get something like that going if they were going to.
That seemed to be kind of like a lit match falling onto a pile of oil-soaked rags.
The fat guy stammered and cursed softly and said, “You must be one of them there commie liberals or something talking like that. Just because something hasn’t happened yet is no sign that nothing ever will. You better get your head out of the sand and start smelling the roses.”
It occurred to me at that point that I had heard some of this paranoid bull manure somewhere before – - from some of the so-called “Modern Patriots” who were always seeming to be screeching about how we are losing all our freedoms because of Liberals and especially because of the president that so many of them seem to me to literally despise so much.
I felt like a little fun at that point so I said to the dude, “I bet you believe that Jesus Christ died so you can be free to go out and buy yourself all the automatic military-style weapons you can cram into a pick up truck too, don’t you?”
The guy swallowed hard, ripped off a really loud report of flatulence and replied, “Yeah! He died so’s I could be free to buy guns – - and to get drunk whenever I feel like it too….and to do what the Hell ever I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing’ it so how’s that, commie? How’s that Comrade?”
I wasn’t about to get into a fight with what I considered to be a super-arrogant ignorant pile of apparently much-too-far-to-the-right crap so I nudged Eddie and we walked out the door.
“There isn’t anything some of those A-wads would like better than to get another civil war started,” I told Eddie, “so they can see the good ole boy days come again when they can all live in their dominionist ante-bellum-style little aristocracy – - a world that once was but can never be again.”
Eddie looked a little puzzled as he asked, “What is ‘Dominionism?”
I said, you wanna know what Dominionism is? Read This:
Posted by John at 7:55 AM (EST) (USA)