A Right Wing Scrooge Of One Kind Or Another
“The format changes”
And so after blogging for three years, John decided, “Hell, I am not all that good of a writer and even though I have many really good and precious friends who read this crap I write every day, I am still not the biggest cow pie in the field so maybe I had better think about changing the way I write.
And so, the thought dawned on him, “Maybe if I write this thing as if it were a continuing story – – perhaps even a novel . . . maybe that it the ticket. Maybe that would make it more interesting to more people.”
It also dawned on him, “Yes, and maybe it will also turn more people off too.”
“Oh well,” he mused, “Have to try something to try to make this thing more of an interesting public service, so I will go ahead for a while with the idea of writing a continuing narrative story instead of trying to look so much like a newspaper or a magazine or something.”
“We shall see,” John thought to himself, “We shall see what transpires.”
So, John picked up a scrap of paper on which he kept notes about ideas for things to blog about . . . scratched his ass a little . . . ( The Right Wing Radical sons of bitches had always had a habit of describing Liberals as ass scratchers so John wanted to be sure and stay in character for their sake . . . even though he is often a nasty-tempered dickweed himself, John tries to please even his detractors and most especially the most smegma-breathed of the mob . . . which he discovered are in not a bunch who are few in number these days.
His eyes fell upon some scribbled words, “The poverty level in The United States has dropped significantly since 2006 levels.”
“That ought to be interesting to somebody,” he thought to himself, so he began carefully stroking the keyboard to his computer:
“The rightie radicals of the extremist persuasion ought to be dancing in their manure-laden streets down in the pits of intellectual bereftness in which many of them spend their miserable days,” he wrote, “because statistics reveal the poverty level in The United States has dropped a lot since Obama became President – – and it has dropped really significantly since 2006 when it was a real pain in the general ass for most people.”
“Righties love the idea of poverty,” he thought to himself, “Especially when it is poverty that applies to somebody else . . . most everybody else actually . . . the righties are the ones who think “Conservatism” means ‘More for me and less for everybody else” after all, doesn’t it?”
Sticking his tongue squarely into his right cheek John focused on that thought for a second – – “Nobody is greedier of material gain than the extremist righties. They are the ones who are always and forever trying to cut funding for all the government programs that are designed to help the poor, the downtrodden, the sick and lame and elderly . . . everybody except their own kind . . their own selfish ilk . . .”
Oh well, “F-Them” he mused with a growing mischievous smile . . . “Let them stick their Conservative-assed bullshit where the Sun don’t shine.”
“Been there; done that!” He comforted himself with the knowledge he had abandoned the hopelessly unprogressive stagnation of Right Wing-Ism years before and had embraced the more mentally stable and productive security of a form of Liberalism.
He felt a sense of satisfaction that he had forced himself to escape the strictures of being a Silas Marner – – hoarding all the good things up unto himself while laughing at the plight of the less fortunate and he was pleased that he was no longer a clone of some kind of Right Wing image of Ebenezer Scrooge.
That appealed to John and so, adjusting his rather rotund rear end on his chair, he continued running his fingers over the keys:
“More than that, there are more Americans who can boast of having decent healthcare now than ever and for some of them it is the first time ever!”
Laughing to himself a little, John thought silently, “That ought to roll the eyelids back on some of the Obama-hating Rightscum . . . they can’t stand the idea of Americans having affordable health care . . . especially if they get the idea they are going to have to subsidize some of it with their taxes.”
The blogger breathed deeply and turned the page on his notebook and read where the “Experts” were all saying that the people who earn $23,850 per year for a family of four are the one now considered to be at the poverty level.”
Reading on, he noted that “The experts” were also saying that the “Median” income for Americans was now close to $52,000 per year and he wondered to himself, “I wonder who in the hell these “Median” people are because there seems to be a helluva lot less of them than of the ones who are classed as being in poverty?”
“Maybe the “Median Incomers” are some of those migrant workers down the street earning $24 an hour putting a new roof on old Sam’s house . . . you know . . doing the work that other Americans refuse to do . . . that awful . . inconvenient . . uncomfortable roofing work that pays $24 an hour!”
John squinted his eyes a little and continued typing:
“I guess “Poverty” is where most of the radicals on the right side of politics would like for most people to stay,” he wrote . . . “I guess the rightie greed mongers would dearly love to keep as many as poor as they can be kept so some of their bullshit about how good Conservatism is for America might sink into some of their minds and cause them to abandon common sense and actually vote for the right wing assholes in some election somewhere down the road . . . or something like that.”
Looking at the clock beside is computer John thought, “It’s 5:30 in the morning right now and I guess I have written enough of this stuff for the time being so I am going to grab my stuffed toy alligator and get back into that bed until 6:00 – – and then I will get up ( If I am still alive that is) and make the coffee and read the newspaper and worry about what to do for the rest of the day.”
So he put down the notebook, yawned contentedly, switched off the computer and climbed back into the comfort of his rather large and extremely comfortable bed and in no time at all was snoring like a chain saw once again as his thoughts drifted slowly away on a cloud of sleep and he heard himself whisper, “I am so glad that I turned out to be a Liberal Pile of Ass after all.”
That is what a lot of the Rightscum like to call him but he really doesn’t mind because he knows a few things that some of “Them” can only hope to know . . . but probably never will . . . things like the fact that most of America has long since abandoned their idiot-ology and all its empty promises more or less permanently.
Life is good!
The scrooge illustration is from Pixabay where it was in the Public Domain on 9/18/2014