Subject: Bible Thumpers Jumping For Joy Over Gun Powder!
Political Opinion by John Liming
To: Mr. and Mrs. America – - everywhere!
There was a time – - – a long time ago – - – in a land far, far away – - – when I too took delight in going to church every Sunday morning, every Sunday evening and at 7:30 each Wednesday evening for “Prayer Service.”
I rejoiced in what I thought was the “Presence of The - – - “Wholly Spur-it” and I felt good about the good “Fellowship and sharing” I could do with my other feller Christian Brothers and Sisters and I was a confirmed, dyed-in-the-wool – - – ” eeee-van-jelly-kill” – - – why I even had a $150.00 King James Bible covered in authentic imported yak leather imported from somewhere or other. I was in love with a man! The name of the man I was in love with was Jesus – - – and no one ever dared to utter a word against me whenever I said something like that.
But goddamn guns was the last thing on my mind when I went to hear good old Brother Fat Guy blow out the sermon or watch Sister Much Meat fondling the rear end of Too Ton Tessie under inspiration of the Holy Ghost – - – yuk! yuk! – - – during the frenzy that marks some of these – - – assemblies and gatherings of the “Much Better Than Anybody” crowd at – - – church!
Now it seems that a whole lot of members of the “What Would Gee-Zuss Do” crowd have gone off onto some kind of nut-case trip about guns!
“H’yar ye go, ye little shaver – - – here’s ye first gun of yer very own – - now remember to shine up that Bah-bull case and git ready fer the rev-uh-loo-shun that is bound to come if’n O bummer - – - or anybody else from that there evil Gubmint tries to grab our guns! That’s what Gee-Zuss would do! – - – Halley-F***ing-Loo-Yuh! – - – and remember – - – try not to shoot yer little brudder with the damned thing if’n ye kin help it! – - – especially don’t shoot my huntin’ hound!”
I know this all sounds insane to anybody who is left with a sound mind out there in Blog Land, but according to all the reports I am getting, there is a lot of this going in Eeee-van-jelly-Kul Land these days and another great blogger named “Guncontrolnowusa” has addressed it in a powerful post to which I now link for your further enlightenment if’n ye might be in a mood to learn more about what I am talking about here:
Dang me, folks! Can this old world get any crazier than it already seems to have got? – - – Gotten – - – become?
Posted in the vernacular of the vulgar by John Liming for the further edification of the sane among us.
- Guy Buys Pistol at Gun Show; Almost Shoots Himself in the Thingy! (dumbassnews.wordpress.com)
- NRA’s New President Has Penchant for… – ABC News (abcnews.go.com)
The Picture Credit: The illustration showing the five bullets is used with gratitude by permission of MARIO PIPERNI.